This week, I learned how to meditate. I’m trying to learn to be present, in the moment, more fully. As my grandma said today when I spoke to her- “you can only be in one place at a time.” Yeah. I’ve wished time-turners actually existed since I read about them in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. But I think the fact that we can only be in one place means that maybe we should spend a little more time finding ways to enjoy those moments, or at least find meaning or value. We get so caught up in trying not to waste time that it’s easy to waste the time we have, the moments in which we are living, here, now.
I’ve been all over the place the last few weeks. I’ve been to Tel Aviv for a weekend to hang out, and to the Leo Baeck Community Center Synagogue here for another interfaith discussion, this time about prejudice. I was in Jerusalem for a day with CIEE and spoke with a Palestinian student at Hebrew University, and a man who runs “Keep Jerusalem,” and the curator of the Museum on the Seam, and went to the multifaith prayer room at the Jerusalem International YMCA. Since we’ve been off for spring break, I’ve been back to Ashkelon to stay with my family, and to Jordan to see Petra and Wadi Rum with my cousins, and woke up in the Negev in Mitzpe Ramon the morning of Passover, and then went to Tel Aviv for Pesach lunch with another bunch of cousins. And I just got back from the DOOF Festival on the Golan side of Lake Kinneret/Sea of Galilee. These festivals are all over Israel this season, especially the week of Pesach, and they bring together some incredibly special, peaceful people (aka hippies).
The DOOF festival is three days straight of psychedelic trance music 24/7 on the shores of the Sea of Galilee. It almost got too uncomfortable at some points as it’s not really my taste in the first place. But there also were some amazing moments. Walking in, and wandering around and talking to people who were simply happy to be there. A day of basking in the sunshine along the shore, and then under enormous old trees that shaded us from the heat. And on Friday night, the trance music stopped for a few hours, and I sat in my first Shabbat circle here. It was easily the most spiritual (and most Jewish) experience I’ve had so far this semester, as we sang the soft Hebrew tunes I’ve grown up with, with others I’d never met before in my life, and will probably never see again. I moved to a nearby small quiet tent, to listen and let the music wash over me, and cuddled with a four month old border collie puppy that seemed to know exactly how to be for each person there. That evening, in those moments, I felt so in tune with the earth, so completely at peace, thankful for those quiet, calm hours in that beautiful place. It made me realize how important it is to just let good feelings wash over us, surround ourselves with good company, and take time for that, just breathing it in, and for finding that, if we feel that we need it. Especially if you’re like me, and have a lot of feelings (can you tell?)
Through all this traveling, I’ve also been all over the place emotionally, too. Each traveling experience exercises my mind and heart in a different way, even while I’m just looking out the window and watching the world go by. There are so many new people I’ve met, thoughts I’ve had, and sensations. I don’t always know what I’m feeling, either. Each moment is special, and new, and exciting, and sometimes a little uncomfortable, and sometimes so completely heart-warming that it feels like my heart is overflowing. Those are the moments we live for, I think. And you have to have the tough ones to recognize the amazing ones. There have been a lot of tough ones. But usually, these special moments are the ones that catch us off guard. All this traveling has taught me a lot about the simple beauty of moments shared with other people, the beauty in unexpectedness and just being. And not always looking for something. And how sometimes we won’t even realize how amazing or special or valuable a moment is until it’s gone. But how important it is to let ourselves feel. Feelings are good things. They remind us that we’re human.
“Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.” (The Guest House, Jelaluddin Rumi)
Metta (Good Intentions/Lovingkindness)
We all have feelings. We all have different kinds of feelings that stem from our perceptions and attitudes and interests and passions. And I believe because of that, we have a responsibility to each other to respect the way we are in the world, the way we do things, the reasons we do things, and how others choose to do things. It is what we do with this awareness of ourselves, our feelings, our relations with others and the earth that will keep us moving forward. We each have our own stories, our own ways of dealing with things and seeing the world, and enjoying our time on earth. On my computer screen, I have a sticky note:
“remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something”
It is hard to remember, sometimes. Even of ourselves. But we are only human, after all.
“we’re all beautiful golden sunflowers inside, we’re blessed by our own seed & golden hairy naked accomplishment-bodies growing into mad black formal sunflowers in the sunset” (Sunflower Sutra, Allen Ginsburg)
And because we are only human, it is important to forgive ourselves, to be good to ourselves, and wish for happiness- we are allowed to be happy- and to be good to others, too- those with whom we are close, and perhaps more distant; those we know are suffering, and those we have never met or heard of in our lives. And the hardest- those who have hurt us, intentionally or not.
It takes time. These things don’t come easy, but they are steps and moments- they are these moments.
And then we had tea.